Flying Home

I am heading out to visit my dad tomorrow. He has not been in the best of health and we (my siblings and myself) have decided that it is time for someone to fly out there and help him get some things in order. I am not sure what I am going to find. That scares me a little. My dad has been very vibrant and healthy most of his life. However, these past two years have really done him in. Personal trials, diabetes and cancer have been the most obvious culprits of his decline, but I am worried that I may find out more.

I always enjoy my visits with him, but feel like this one may be different. Funny how my brothers and sister and myself always worried more about our mother's health. In contrast, she now seems much healthier than my dad.

It is hard seeing your parents struggle with their mortality. I have yet to loose either of them and just can't seem to imagine life without having them just a phone call away. I think that is why I am so uneasy about this trip. I just don't want to face it. I keep thinking of a friend of mine who recently unexpectedly lost her dear father. She has been a strong, wise, amazing woman while dealing with this lose. I am just not sure I am ready to deal with something like that. I guess you never really are. You just learn to deal with what Heavenly Father places before you and pray that somehow you will get through it.

So, while I am usually really giddy about any trip to Oregon, tonight I am not. I am sad. I have been thinking a lot about the opportunity I have tomorrow to fly home to Astoria. I think I am so sad because I have come to realize that before too many more years, my parents will be flying home too.